burn in hell motherfucker...
that's just one of the many things that went through my head when I pulled into my garage this evening to find that my new bicycle was stolen. stolen from my garage. my space. no forced entry meaning the neighbor had to have left his side of the garage open unattended. who knows - he may have been unloading groceries or something. we've done that. left the garage unattended for minutes. just long enough to steal my motherfucking bicycle!!!!
oh yes - and Hilsy's golf clubs.
okay, so I'm insured - doesn't matter. MY MOTHERFUCKING BICYCLE!!!! KEEP YOUR GRUBBY PAWS OFF!!!! I hope to find my bike between your legs as you're laying underneath the F-Market. Dead? NO!!! Arm pinned underneath a wheel? YES YES YES And I'm going to pour tabasco sauce in your eyes as you wait for the ambulance to arrive - slowly because I've sent them to the wrong address. And then I'm gonna shove that bicycle seat so far up your ass that they think you have boob implants because the gel is all in your chest.
oh yes and FUCK YOU!!!
posted by the happy guy @ 4/13/2006 08:25:00 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
dan-dan,
i certainly feel your pain. i might suggest you rid yourself of that toxic anger at the gym in the morning. you can take satisfaction knowing that punk-thief will get a karmic bitchslap eventually.
or . . .
we could set a trap by baiting him to steal something else from the garage. then, we could hold him hostage like so much farrah fawcett in that movie where she and her girlfriends locked a stalker in the fireplace! check it out here, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104023
then get back to me.
hugs/kisses,
= j a M e s =
i got the movie wrong, it's actually this one:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091024
Oh, if I see a crackhead carrying his shit around Hayes Valley in a Coldstream Country Club golf bag?
It's on, mother fucker.
-Hilsy.
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