a year of firsts...

tomorrow will be the first family holiday since the passing of my father. having been out of the family gathering loop for some time now it hadn't even really occurred to me until my sister mentioned it in her latest email. it's not like Easter in and of itself is a special occasion for my family as we're about as religious as the wingback chair that I'm sitting in now. don't be fooled by the veritable plethora of religious emails I get from my sister. Mountain Wings indeed.

meanwhile back at the ranch...

but, like many families we do tend to gather on the Easter occasion. being one that was left behind I can tell you that there is a certain sadness when a regular is no longer in attendance. for me it was my nephew (19 month younger than I, more like a brother.) he was the one person who kept the family gatherings from being unbearable back in the day. we were in our late-teen it ain't cool to hang out with the folks phase. but, HE had to go off and enlist in the US Army and abruptly move to New Jersey and then Kansas. I don't remember which family gathering came after he left, but I remember that I felt like life had ended for me. yes, as a matter of fact I was a drama queen back in the day. drama queen with a touch of maudlin. ah, it's all coming back to me now. so glad I snapped out of that.

wow...I've got to get myself checked for ADD...two digressions later...

so, the "regulars" are dwindling - and fast. I'm really hoping that Christmas won't get the brunt of this event. my father slipped and broke his hip just a few days before Christmas. he developed the pneumonia that eventually lead to his demise during his hip replacement surgery - Christmas Eve. I remember thinking when the end was near "I sure hope this doesn't all get attached to Christmas." well, I for one will do my best to prevent that. I need to get working on that master plan.

I guess that at least it keeps his memory alive for us all. the irony being that he was a curmudgeon during most family gatherings. sometimes this would work in my favor - as in getting out ASAP. sometimes this meant added tension. once he didn't even show up. it makes me chuckle. who knew his cantankerousness would bring me a chuckle one day.

well, happy day of rising mr. jesus. dad, I'm sure someone will eat some extra ham in your honor - if you were here, we'd be laughing in recognition of who that will be. I miss you and think of you way more often than I ever thought I would after your passing. I hope you're much, much happier in whatever state you're in at the moment.